Straight Up Jankey

It's all New York to me

2011-07-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

A shameful fact about me: I've never been to New York. I mean, come on! What the hell have I been doing all this time? I'm an American, godammit, and I have never even been to the most American place on the planet!? Well...maybe Las Vegas, but that's more like kitsch version. So, tomorrow night I take off to N.Y. with two of my friends, a mysterious Japanese person, and my husband. What adventures await us? Well...for sure a few nights in a shitty hotel and a visit to the Guggenhiem museum. Maybe I'll even eat a hotdog from a street vendor! Fancy that.

Hello Again

2011-07-03T17:09:00.000-07:00

Ahh, well...this is embarrassing. On several occasions I have logged in, typed up a post and subsequently deleted it. I admit it's a problem of mine, that is, losing interest in my own hobbies. The giant lull in blog posts mainly came from a long stretch of winter blues. At the time I was not working nor going to school and I just didn't feel fit to talk about anything. The creative juices had frozen solid.

But things have changed for the better (mainly due to no longer being locked in the dungeon of winter). I'm five months into full-time French classes. It's crazy. I'm the only American in the entire school amongst every other nationality of the world. I get a strange mixture of attention from people practicing their English on me to serenading me with Justine Bieber. The entire experience is quite bizarre, but in a really positive way. Awkward moments seem to be the norm, so I feel right at home.

I don't know how much I can promise to this blog. Honestly I'm just busy and tired everyday. At times I feel a little silly coming here to post about my otherwise normal life. Though, if I were to approach posting in a blog as something completely profound and never done before, then I would just be fooling myself. In all of this running around, I just need to find a little time to reflect.

And here a picture of a cat sleeping.

2010-12-08T19:27:00.000-08:00

I think my blog needed a little touching up...nothing that a little original art can't fix! Matt's mother gave us a printer/scanner, which allowed me to scan one of my drawings.

Now that my residency is edging towards finalization (after an entire year!) I have begun the foot work for applying for Grad School. It's like a stress-inducing walk through memory lane...emailing my old professors and requesting my transcripts is triggering some feelings of anxiety, which was pretty much my mental state throughout my entire college career. Yeesh, what I am getting myself into?

On an unrelated note, I suddenly piqued an interest in reading the Wikipedia bios of old Hollywood actresses from the past...you know, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Judy Garland and the likes. Their stories made me realize how insanely driven and legitimately crazy these women were. I mean, they practically grew up in show biz. They worked their ass off, were plagued with vicious insecurities, struggled with self-worth and addictions and on top of it all had to sing and dance and look stunning throughout all of it. I'm convinced that modern actresses don't have to try half as hard as those women to attain such fame. Joan Crawford said herself "getting there is easy, staying there very difficult".

2010-12-06T19:36:00.000-08:00

First real snowfall. The lockdown has commenced. From this day on, it's all long nights lit up by Christmas lights and the glow of open laptop monitors. Headphones on, head down, and feet buried under the snow. These are the song of the winter time.

Teenagers

2010-11-30T21:55:00.000-08:00

Teenaged girls. Somehow I feel like I never accepted or capitalized on my teenage-hood. It wasn't until my years in college that I ever got that generally accepted notion of That Teenaged Experience....or more like the version of adolescence that movies show us. Only now is it that I look back on those teenaged girls whom I adored and secretly knew I would never really turn out like, and wonder what I could of experienced if I had gotten to known them better. There was one girl, Paula, who was my sister's friend.

My sister and I were still fairly okay with hanging out with each other despite our difference in age. And every now and then I'd get to hang out with her and Paula. My sister and Paula were girls scouts together...and I think thats how they met. Paula had wild white curly hair. It stood out everywhere. She was always so pale..pink white. She read Tank Girl comic books, took ritalin, and was into witchcraft. She was an only child who was adopted. The way she dressed herself was unlike anyone I had ever seen...she was like a villain character in one of my many comic books. There just wasn't anyone I knew who was even half as cool as her.

Once, she and my sister dug a cave in the side of a tall sand embankment along the creek. One night they snuck out of their homes to camp out in their cave...so with candles and sleeping bags they slept there. I think I remember the night they snuck out, and how I wished so badly that I could come with them.

Then my sister and Paula went through high school. Of course everything changed, as they often do, and I haven't seen nor heard from her in years. Last I heard she was working as a gunsmith somewhere. Of course she would be a gunsmith.

Pinups and playboys

2010-11-08T07:46:00.001-08:00

My friend Alyssa had contacted me a couple weeks ago asking if I would be interested in taking some photos of her for her boyfriend's birthday. When she had asked me, ideas of a 50's style pin-up photo shoot started running through my head. She is really the perfect model for it too...she is like a pint sized Marilyn Monroe! So, I dusted off my lighting rig, rearranged some furniture and busted out some outfits for her to wear. Afterwards it was pizza and wine time....I think everyone went home happy. The rest of the set can be found at my Flickr page ;)

2010-11-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

The curse of Halloween as finally been lifted.

For the past five years, I have had a tenuous relationship with the accursed night. But, I love Halloween. I mean, who doesn't really? As a kid, I used to LIVE for that night...preparing for days the haunted house that I would construct in my grandmother's garage. I simply wanted one thing: the scare the living bejeezuz out of all the neighborhood children. Nothing makes me more happy that the terrified shrill of 6 year olds in Ninja Turtle costumes. But, Halloween took a sharp nosedive into pure suckiness once I moved out of my parent's house and away from the limitless supply of tiny babies for me to frighten. In the age of late teen and early twenty-somethings it became about going to huge street parties dressed up as some ironic celebrity and vomiting out the 12 shots of vodka that you received from a "slutty Rainbow Bright" or something of the sort. I would foolishly go along for the ride and curse every second of my decision.

It went on like this for the past five years. Not always some huge party, but always an enormous setup for bone-crushing disappointment. What happened to my beloved holiday? Suddenly it had this huge pressure to become "the best night ever" and had to involve waiting in line...outside...in the cold...in costume that was not suited for the weather... After so much disappointment, I learned to not get excited. In fact, I came to simply dread any plans for Halloween and would prematurely write the night off as a disaster.

But there is a good ending to this story. While all of the odds were against me, I managed to have the best Halloween in a long time. It didn't start off promising though. Matt and I really didn't have an clear plans and around 7:00 it started snowing. But, despite the fact that the weather had turned into bullshit, we met up with some good friends of ours at their little pad downtown, started with a couple of drinks and a crappy Icelandic movie about being stranded on a whaling boat. The company was good and everyone's mood was warm despite what was going on outside. Later we shuffled through the rain and snow to the kookiest little bar. This place seemed like it was MADE for Halloween. It was a little punk rock joint down in the basement of these 100 year old buildings. The moment I walked in, I felt like I was in a movie. There were skeleton boys, black cats and little ghoulies everywhere, two pitchers of Montreal beer and a Cramps cover band that was fronted by a skinny kid in his underwear was playing on stage. Everything just seemed right in a perfectly demented way. I leaned over to my friend, Myra and shouted in her ear, "Best Halloween in a long time! Thank you!".

2010-09-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

Matt and I have been married for one year! We had discussed what to do to celebrate our very first anniversary... Our friends had suggested fancy restaurants or booking a weekend in some high falutin' hotel. But most of those ideas just seemed to fall flat for Matt and I. The truth is: we just aren't classy people. High-end stuff just comes off as stuffy and pretentious. So we had decided to drop by our favorite (or rather ONLY) tiki theme restaurant and to attend the annual Magic of Lanterns festival at the botanical gardens. It had been raining most of the day, but the sky cleared up just long enough for us to stroll fancy-free through the magical glowing wonderland. I couldn't of asked for a more perfect night...The air was warm, the rain had stopped, and we practically had the entire garden to ourselves. As we walked hand-in-hand, I felt as if I was glowing as brightly as the colorful lanterns that lit the path under our rhyming footsteps.

Room to grow

2010-09-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Weekend trips outside the city are pretty rare for me. Usually by the time the weekend has arrived, Matt and I are ready to hit the city streets in search of some undiscovered excitement. But this last weekend was a welcome break from the norm: my friend Julie invited us along with her twin sister to spend Labor Day weekend at her parent's home in the country. Or more specifically, to attend the Brome County Fair...with barn animals, cotton candy, carnies and all. There really is nothing more down-home than a county fair...Though, those types of events are geared toward children with little or no fear of being killed on shoddy looking carnival rides or eating questionable looking "food-on-a-stick". So, we spent our time petting horse heads and squealing at the little piggies in the hay. After a thorough day of getting animal residue on our hands, we took the secret dirt road to Julie's childhood home.

Julie's parents own a lovely piece of land surrounded by a beautiful, fern covered forest. Just up the road you could see the hills and mountains in the distance. Picturesque beauty...the kind of setting that you might imagine a fairy tale about a little farm girl or magical pig. Places like that let my imagination roam...I could see my younger self hiding in the woods, building forts and pretending to play with fairies in the ferns. Part of me wanted to be left alone there, free to indulge in the beauty around me. The forest brings me some kind of comfort...just sitting there, listening to the wind blow across the canopy. The air itself seems to have some miraculous healing attribute. I wished that I had my camera to photograph the moment, even though the act would lack any ability to capture what I was feeling.

The evening was spent outside on the back porch with Julie's family, huddled around an open fire. That night Matt roasted a marshmallow on a twig for the very first time. Julie and I nodded with approval as we allowed the city boy to participate in us country folk's holiest of rituals.

2010-08-23T11:14:00.000-07:00

Elam-sister-reunion 2010 has already come and passed. Having my sister around for the past ten days has been a welcome comfort in a new life that I am still adjusting to. When we are in eachother's presence, its as if no time has ever passed at all...sure there is the obligitory catching up to do, but we are always tuned into one another's brains like a couple of freaky Siamese twins. Though, I didn't realize how much I had missed her until Matt and I dropped her off at the airport. Time eventually soothes the pain of distance, but the constant "goodbyes" keep pulling at the tender sutures. I'd like it if everyone that I loved didn't live on opposite ends of the continent...but what can be done? The future is painfully opaque, and one never knows where it may lead them next. But, I suppose its all part of the human experience...what would happiness mean if it were never tempered by a sting of sadness? Overwhelming joys and painful lumps of sad emotion in the throat: all beautiful, and all necessary.

Wistful lessons aside, it has been a wonderful summer and it will soon be coming to a lovely close (even though I am trying to pretend that I don't notice the leaves changing). It is hard to believe that I have been here for nearly a year! I've come a VERY long way from when I first arrived, suitcases and cat in-hand. I'm a little older now...I FEEL older now. But not in that whiney "oh I still wish I was 18" kind of way. Adulthood is new territory, and its not all bills and taxes either. Its weird...you never really notice yourself turning into an adult, and then all of the sudden you look around and you're like "wait a minuet, I'm driving myself to the grocery store to pick up stuff to cook for dinner...wasn't I just playing in the sprinklers like 2 seconds ago? OH where has my childhood gone?!" But then you get over it when you realize you no longer have to ask your parents to drop you off at the mall or have to finish any algebra homework.

2010-07-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Well, phase deux of summer guests has already passed. This is the furthest north that either of my parents have ventured, and I'm glad to report that their impressions of Montreal have been surpassed. My mom stayed for about two weeks while my dad only stayed for one. Unfortunately he regretted not booking his stay longer...though, I suppose its better than feeling like you can't wait to leave. I know that by the end of it all, they both came to understand why I gave up my home state for this place. As my parents said themselves "Whats not to like?". Summer in MTL is something to behold, for certain. Although, I have this reoccurring dreams where winter comes suddenly without any warning or transition. Everyone around me just says "Oh well, thats how it goes!" while I'm dying on the inside. Summer, why can't you just hang around forever? Blah, I shouldn't be lamenting summer just yet...we are still in the heart of it!

As wonderful as is to be in my current state, there is one thing that eats at me... Its the fact that I am pretty much suspended from doing anything interesting on my own. My pending residency prevents me from working, attending school, leaving the country to visit friends and relatives, or even driving (the non-driving being the most irritating). I know once I get my precious residency things will finally become accessible. But for now I'm stuck in the no freedom zone. There are worse things, I suppose. It will all eventually come to be and I will be free to complain about other superficial shit.

2010-07-14T06:17:00.000-07:00

Our first wave of summer house guests has already come and gone. Matt's friend from university, Silvie, came from BC to stay with us for a couple of weeks. By the end of the trip it became obvious to her that she had to move back to Montreal. I think this city has that enchanting effect on people...it certainly got its teeth into me.

After much unneeded apprehension, I have actually started to bike around town. I had to get over the mental hurdle of biking in a busy city and just calm down. The last time I actually biked anywhere was back in my old neighborhood out in East Texas. Back then I would usually just ride down to the lake to go harass some ducks. Montreal is a perfect city for biking with all of its extensive bike paths and numerous parks (with plenty of ducks to harass). Traveling by bike makes everything in the city seem so much closer and connected. And I promise I won't be like those biker-assholes who blow through the red lights and get themselves killed.

The second wave of guests is upon us! This time its the parents and I'm so excited to finally have them see my happy little life here. There is so much to see, do, hear, eat, and buy that I don't even know where to start. I just hope it won't be as blistering hot so my dad won't melt away. I know he thinks that Canada is supposed to be a year-long cool temperature paradise...but SURPRISE it gets hot here too.

It has been agreed upon by our friends that Matt and I are "the power couple". We commonly hear the compliment that Matt and I "don't act like you're married", or that "you guys never fight, its as if you actually like each other". I don't mean to ring my own bell here, but I have to admit that he and I are very pea-in-a-pod like. There seem to be a lot of people who believe that a relationship is hard work and that arguments are inevitable. Maybe its just me, but I beg to differ. Relationships should be easy. If there is so much in-fighting and disagreements, then maybe it isn't meant to be. Life can be hard enough, why bring those hardships into the sanctity of your relationships? I dunno, he and I might have it a little easier due to our laid-back personalities.

I might be totally late on this scene, but I just discovered the blog, Hyperbole And A Half and I can't stop from reading it and giggling hysterically to myself. Her little illustrations kill me...

I'm not usually the type to stress out about going to the hair salon, but this last trip opened up some pretty tense feelings about the whole experience. It all started when I saw some adorable shop girl in this amazing vintage store in town. She was pretty much exactly what I wanted to be (I hate that!). She had the cutest bright pink dress on, a pair of vintage heels, and this super short, bright blond pixie haircut. I pointed her out to Matt and I said, "I want that to be me". So I had it in my head that I was going to get my hair bleached and cut uber short. After much deliberation and flipping through magazines to find the perfect style, I made my appointment at the Funky Toque. When I arrived Saturday morning at 11:30 with a slight hangover from the 200 Mojitos I had the night before with Silvie and her friends, I was feeling a little less confident about my brash hair decision. The receptionists sat me down with the haircolorists and I explained to her what I wanted...she pretty much said no and made me choose another color. I went for a lighter, more coppery red. After the dye job I was feeling at a loss as to what to do for my cut...my plans had been dashed and I was scrambling to find something that I wanted. It needed to be different enough to justify spending the cash to have it dyed and cut by expensive city-people. The color actually turned out much better than I thought and the hair stylists sensed my confusion about a cut and gave me this ultra mod bob. I was a bit apprehensive at first, thinking that I would look like one of the Back Street Boys. But to my reliefe it turned out wonderfully swinggy and sophisticated...whew!

I realize that most of the text on the post went to talking about my hair.

2010-06-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

What is it with all of these Asian blogs "commenting" on my posts? Ugh, it probably has something to do with getting my account deleted for being suspected as SPAM. Annoying! Yay!

The other day I was watching some recap of the Much Music Award show on TV for some reason and it occurred to me that I have no idea who any of these new celebrities are. Well, obviously I have heard about some of them, but the majority were completely new to me. What the hell is Snookie? Why are people going crazy for a 12 year old boy who looks like an adorable little girl? When did Hannah Montana turn into a ho? Who is Katy Perry and why is she ejecting whipped cream out of her boobs? Ahhh!!

But one thing that drives me absolutely bonkers is everyone and their duck telling me that I need to be in love with Lady Gaga. People are all saying "Oooh she's so original and shocking! She wears Alexander McQueen! She writes her own music!". Excuse me? She looks and sounds like every other pop monster that was spawned from the MTV monster. If you never saw the woman on TV and just listened to her music, you would soon realized it sounds just as bland and homogeneous as every other pop song on the radio. It only becomes more apparent that she is an unoriginal hack when you see her horrendously over budgeted music videos. And why should I be impressed that she writes and produces her own music? Shouldn't that be the prerequisite of EVERY musician? GAHH! Lady Gaga simply exemplifies my theory that most people like terrible things.

There is so much good, original music out there. People just need to listen to it. You want weird? Forget Gaga, try Cocorosie.

I'm back to life!

2010-06-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Yay! I got my blog back! Apparently it was falsely identified as SPAM and the process to get it reviewed and back online is a slightly complicated process. But, the powers that be fixed it and I am as happy as a lark...and Lord knows how happy larks are.

Tonight Matt, myself and some friends got wind of a free Arcade Fire concert that was being held in a mall parking lot in the suburb of Longueil. Seriously, it was a perfect show. The weather was just right, no opening band, we got prime location, and the sound was phenomenal. The show was a "secret" for all about of 3 seconds; there must of been about ten thousand fans there. Neither Matt or I had seen them live, so it was particularly special. There was such an exuberance in the air...the band, the fans, the little babies that hipster moms carted around in their strollers, everyone. Oh lucky me!

2010-06-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

Nature is a marvellous force that purveys every corner of the universe. We owe our existence to a momentarily truce that will inevitably be broken by either our own doing or by a subtle occurrence in nature that would make life like ours incapable of surviving. It is only now, as an advanced society of people, that we can turn around and look at the splendor and unfathomable beauty of nature. We see the sunsets, trees, waterfalls, exotic animals, and astronomical movements as things of tremendous beauty. But this is really a recent phenomenon...The fact is that creatures who live under the pressure nature live in a constant state of stress and mostly die a horrible death by predation or starvation. Because we have cut ourselves off from nature, and have mitigated it's presence in our lives we can appreciate the more wonderful aspects of it. But there are those times when we either get caught by the natural world or unwittingly thrust ourselves back into it without the slightest clue of how to survive. Case in point, last weekend with Matt at the summit of Mont Tremblant...

...It started with an innocent motive, "Hey Mary, lets drive up to the mountains and have a nature day...go hiking and stuff". It sounded fantastic to me. I hadn't been outside of the city in months and wanted a little change in scenery. So we got up early and drove the 2 hours north and arrived at the ski resort town thats clustered at the base of the mountain. We paid the 18.00-a-person tickets to take the gondola up to the summit. We enjoyed the splendid panorama view that unfolded before us as we were hoisted further up the mountain. When we arrived to the summit, I noticed these annoying flies buzzing around. Not thinking much of them, we followed our trail map that lead us back down to the base. Now, my first mistake was wearing my cowboy boots instead of a legitimate pair of hiking shoes. This seems to be a common problem of mine: wearing inappropriate shoes. So I didn't really have much traction on the trail. The rocks kept slipping under my boots so we had to progress down very slowly. I couldn't even enjoy the view because I was constantly fixed upon the ground, watching every step.

I think we had gotten so transfixed on my shoes that we had gotten off trail. We were on a steep incline when we agreed that it was now too far to go back...it would just be exhausting hauling our sorry asses back up the slope. But at this point we had noticed that the flies from the summit were getting worse. I put my hand on the back of my neck to feel a whole cluster of flies attached to me by their horrible little mandibles. I panicked. I soon realized these were flesh eating flies and they were swarming us...the only people on the trail and their the focus of their blood thirsty attention. We had to get down ASAP, but it would be another hour or so before we could reach the base. The entire way down we were screaming and swatting and scrapping off clusters of flies off of our skin. They would fly into my ear and down my throat and up my shirt. It was fucking AWFUL to say the least. There came a moment in my panic stricken mind that we just might not make it. I might slip and break my ankle due to my slick boots and the flies would come and carry my body off.

Matt was the one who kept me from slipping too far. In situations like those the bond between your partner becomes stripped down and exposed. All reservations are thrown out, its just you and your partner trying to do the most basic action: survive! We kept each other's spirits up by simply laughing at how unbelievably absurd the situation was. Here we were, stuck alone on a mountain, running down hill like mad men while being eat alive by a swarm of flies. From the outsider's perspective, it must of been down right hilarious. Matt and finally made it to the base...we could hear the PA system in the resort blasting Lady Gaga. I never felt more happy to hear her shitty songs. By the time we had reached civilization, our faces and necks were covered in blood, our clothes dirty, and a crazed look in our eye. We b-lined straight for the car and drove straight home.

Now, I realize that we were not in any real danger. We weren't isolated in the middle of nowhere, and we were not being attacked by bears. But it did give us a taste of what nature has in store for those who do not have the luxuries of civilization. The natural world is harsh and mostly wants to destroy you. The only reason why we as a species are able to flourish is because we have scrapped bits of nature away and built a fortress around ourselves to keep her nasty flies out.

2010-05-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

Miss moon is peeking down and into my crescent shaped window tonight. A lonely girl who likes to hide her face and come out only when she feels the night is just right. Some nights she had rather just stay in and not come out at all. Just as the moon does, we all shift though our different cycles in life...evolving triumphantly or shrinking away into the darkness. I sometimes look at the moon and wonder who else is gazing up at that wonderful little face.

My mom called today to read me a story that I had written when I was in the 4th grade. It involved me building a time machine and traveling aaallllll the way to the year 2000 where there were friendly robots, flying cars, glittering buildings, and dogs with leashes that could walk themselves! Oh my! The fanciful year of 2000 sure looked pretty amazing way back in '94. I know of a few people who would love to have those self-walking pet leashes. What's funny is that I somewhat remember writing it. Although (unsurprisingly) my spelling was so...err...creative...in retrospect, my mother had wondered if I should of been tested for dyslexia. I guarantee you I was just too distracted with my drawings to pay any attention to my spelling.

Its official. Summer is here and we are spending approximately 100% of it on a roof...whether it be our own or someone else's. It started with Matt and I going atop of our building and enjoying the weather or sunset. Then it turned into candlelight dinners up there. Next we went with some friends to a rooftop movie night and soon after for a BBQ that involved alot of scuttling about on a roof. Matt and I have turned into little squirrels and soon enough people are going to start setting traps for us.

I'm back on the Etsy wagon and it feels good...got myself a new mannequin and a ton of stock to photograph. I've been out of the game for a while now, so I hope the market is still fresh! I know everyone and their duck now sells vintage junk on Etsy.

2010-05-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Some things as of late....

I went downtown to go shoe shopping for some sensible flats that would be useful for all the city walking I now do. I leave the store with a pair of 5 inch platform wedges. My only rational is "well, at least they're wedges". All of my practicality goes out the window when I come in contact with a swanky pair of shoes.

I love cold pizza...especially for breakfast. I love ordering in pizza (which we RARELY do) just for the faint chance that I may have some left over to enjoy the next morning.

Matt and I finally got ourselves the space-age Electrohome record player that we had been searching for. Though, all the credit really goes to our favorite retro furniture dealer that we have befriended...it pays to make flea market friends...it pays in sweet, sweet retro furniture discounts...oh yeah.

I don't understand the people who walk around outside, dressed as if its still the dead of winter with their down-coats and mittens. For Christ's sake its practically summer people...trust the weather!

I discovered from an unknown source that putting a long piece of Scotch Tape on my cat's back makes her flip out and run laps around the house. Pure hilarity.

Cooking is one of those things that I never really expressed much interest in while living at home or even living on my own. Why bother when Mom cooks so well, right? But I must say, it makes total sense that someone who loves food as much as me would want to know how to make it herself. I mean, why not? You're going to eat the rest of your life...you might as well learn now to cook well.

Every room in our condo has finally been painted. When we moved in, everything was either a pukish tan or some sick shade of flesh. What the hell is up with these non-colors? I don't understand people's aversion to bold colors that actually make a statement. Forget taupe, slate, and ecru. Give me real damn color! My mother gave me "House & Garden's Complete Guide to Interior Decoration" from 1970, and it is the most amazing decorating manual ever. If you just look through the pages you can see how people were unafraid to use bright colors, big patterns and innovated design. Granted, some of the examples shown are pretty freaking horrendous, but most of them are incredibly inspiring.

Dirty martinis are my new thing. Save the sweet stuff for the children. Just pour the whole damned thing of olives in there!

I like to read those take-out menus that we get in the mail. I just like knowing that I can order sushi, pizza, poutine, hot dogs, crepes, felafel, egg rolls, and whatever else anytime I wish! Not that I ever do...it just makes me feel like I'm really living in the city hahaha.

2010-04-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing that Montreal has an abundance of, its concert venues. Matt and I have attended four concerts over the past few months (and are going to be seeing yet another tonight) and have yet to have gone to the same venue twice. Not bad! Last night we saw one of Jon Spencer's bands, Heavy Trash at the rather bare bones venue, La Sala Rossa. Now, if it were any person who was destined to fulfill a certain role in life, Jon Spencer would be that fellow. He was simply born to be on stage with a guitar and a microphone. I'm not even entirely sure if he even write his lyrics down or if he just improvises each night. He grunts, points, clutches the air and addresses the audience as if they are the disciples of his holy house of rock and roll. Matt and I certainly were believers that night.

Before the show we stopped at a restaurant that I had been eyeing for some time. Its this little greasy spoon called Rapido on the corner of a very busy and trendy street. I would always oogle the kitschy decor and packed booths as we walked past the huge windows. But as we arrived and were greeted by the creepy old waitress who stares at you just a little too long, I had a feeling things weren't going to be as good as I'd hoped. I ordered the Texan burger, which the menu had described as a patty with sauteed mushrooms and onions and Swiss cheese. Not sure what is so Texan about that, but it sounded good. Matt went for the chicken fingers at the last second as the waitress stared right down into his soul. When the food arrived it looked far more impressive than it had tasted. The burger's ratios were all wrong...a thin patty with a huge, thick bun. I could of had a better burger at A&W....mmmmm...Mama burger..... Matt's chicken fingers looked as if they had been found in the back of grandma's refrigerator and were cooked so hot that you wouldn't notice how bad they actually were. At least the fries were good. But in it's defence, Rapido is the kind of place you go to AFTER a concert or long night at a bar. Its the kind of place you cram into the booth with all of your friends while trying to sober up over poutine and smoked meat. That is to say, I probably would of liked this place alot better if I were drunk.

Fresh layer of paint.

2010-04-07T06:48:00.000-07:00

I think a little cosmetic updating was overdue for my 'ol blog here. With all of this sunshine and rain, I am overcome with a perverse desire to clean.

Even though the mercury has risen well beyond the freezing point, there are still some stragglers who still dress as if it is the dead of winter. They walk around with their knitted toques and down-insulated coats. It as if they still don't trust that the seasons have turned.

I finally got the haircut that I have been trying to get for the past god-kn0ws-how-many years. Funny that it took a hairdresser who only speaks French to translate what I want into the perfect cut.

Last Friday the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club came rumbling into town for an extraordinarily loud and sweaty show...oh my. This was the third time that I had seen them play live, and its a scientific fact that they never disappoint. It was more like a contest of endurance between the audience and the performers. They played for a solid two hours, almost non-stop. Needless to say, after the show mine and my husband's ears were thoroughly destroyed. A true sign of an amazing performance!

I stumbled upon a beautiful girly fashion magazine the other day whilst loitering about the hair salon. Its called Foam. Their target audience might be a bit younger and more Californian than myself, but I find it to be like a less irritating version of Nylon.

Matt and I still have a couple other concerts to attend this month. Charlotte Gainsbourg Heavy Trash (one of Jon Spenser's many bands). I'm particularly excited to see miss Gainsbourg's performance...it seems she has had a bit of a renaissance with her latest collaborative record, touring schedule, award winning acting performances and not to mention her new Balenciaga perfume. She is just so intrinsically cool...

Professor Brian Cox may be the best thing that has even happened to astronomy. He has been the host of an absolutely beautiful mini series on the BBC called "The Wonder Of The Solar System". It's only five episodes long, which leaves me begging for more. Throughout the series he lists some of the most incredible discoveries of our own planetary system...and that the most fascinating worlds aren't even planets at all, but are the Saturnian moons and Galilean moons of Jupiter. What I appreciate most about Dr. Cox's presentation is his genuine, boy-like wonder and excitement he displays about the universe....plus he is a TOTAL dreamboat.

2010-03-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

Times up. Winter is over. The remnant patches of snow lay in open fields like white, rotting corpses. The sun has over taken the sky and with it the sadness has been banished away forever...or at least until next winter. Suddenly, there is life on Mars again. The soil has thawed and the atmosphere has cleared to give way to Spring, and I cannot tell you how relieved I am. To be honest, I think I weathered the winter well enough. The cold makes you stronger, it seriously does. But I am glad that its over for now.

Yesterday was the first really nice day. So, Matt and I took off for a 7 mile hike from our condo through our neighborhood, to Little Italy, through the Plateau, for a stop in Chinatown for some nourishment, and finally to the Old Port where we took the Metro back home. Everyone was out walking their dogs or children. There is a sense of camaraderie amongst all living creatures on the street..even the little dogs strung from their owners step a little higher to the tune of the sparrows who have returned from their Southern vacations.

Underneath

2010-02-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

A friend and I ventured through an underground area of Montreal. Within such a small area, one can encounter a variety of architectural oddities. This is but a small sample of this semi-subterranean city.

2010-02-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

I know that I tend to start things, and slowly let them fade into background as I get wrapped up in other, equally as unimportant distractions. But lately this blog has been on my mind...I miss updating on a semi regular basis, and I miss posting new items for sale in my Etsy store as well. Actually there are lot of things that I have been missing dearly. Like MY CAR. Its been held hostage until I get my titled released and have Canadian insurence...so for the past few weeks I have been car-less and stranded at home (well, I do live near a metro, so I have been able to get around town). I don't know if its the pain medication from my wisdom tooth extraction that I've been hopped up on or just a nagging case of the home sick blues, but there are a couple things that have been pulling at my little heart strings lately:

My parents and their home. The other day I was thinking about how much I love the way my parent's home smells like the musty scent of the outdoors. I love hearing the wind chimes in the back yard and birds chirping their morning tune. I like looking out the kitchen window and see my dad sitting on the back patio, popping squirrels with his B.B gun. And I can't wait until my mom and I can go out on our legendary antique-hunting adventures again.

My best friend, Collete. I miss her sweet, Southern accent and hand rolled American Spirits. I miss walking to her house and laying on her bed as she spends two hours getting dressed and deciding that she hates her outfit despite me reassuring her that she looks beautitul in whatever she wears. I miss all the nights she and I would get high and just laugh at one each other's jokes until we thought we were going to die. When we were around each other, it was as if nothing bad could ever happen. And nothing ever did go wrong. Somehow, every night was the best night of my life. She was my right-hand-man, and there will always be an empty place in her absence.

Though, I shouldn't let myself get too caught up in what I no longer have on a regular basis. I know for certain that I will see my parents and their home and that I will have more nights with Collete. These things are not gone, just out of reach for now. Besides, life on this side is vibrant too. This city is unusual in that my story is not unique...there seems to be so many who are starting new in a place they only felt compelled to be a part of.

Fashion Phoenix

2010-01-21T16:21:00.001-08:00

Lately I have been in this fashion funk. Maybe it has to do with the constant cold weather and inability to wear most of my wardrobe. Anything that I wear is going to be obscured by my giant winter coat....sometimes I catch myself saying "why bother?". Well its time to shape up! So in order to combat these wintertime blahs, I have made more of an effort to look through my closet and recontextualize all of my clothing. That is, trying things on and thinking about my wardrobe in a different way. Also, I find myself being inspired by the way Montrealers dress themselves...loads of black, sleek silhouettes, sharp heels, and a slightly modern edge. Usually I gravitate towards bright colors and large, graphic prints. But I think I am starting to lean towards a more futuristic look with a vaguely goth twist. And it all centers around these incredible boots Matt got my for my birthday!

Holiday food-a-thon

2009-12-23T12:58:00.000-08:00

Seems that way, anyhow. This week is going to be a gastronomical onslaught. Believe you me, there is no hope on the horizon...just an endless army of cake. Kiss those toned thighs goodbye and simply give in to the Lord of Lard.....Okay enough of that.

Its been busy/not busy since the last time I made a post here. I guess we have just been getting into the daily routine of things. Matt comes home every night to an experimental diner, then we rush off the gym to work off our sin. But life hasn't been all same-old-same-old. We had an interesting night peppered in here and there. Our new little Dutch friend invited us to spy on a blind date of hers, only to discover that her potential date had stood her up. But here's the kicker...the bastard had the gall to show up and hour later...with another date. Ding ding! I think we have a winner! More like a wiener...heh

Last night our classiest Francophone friend hosted a spectacular pre-Christmas dinner equipped with cranberry roasted pork and a giant Little Debbie cake. Really a classic Montreal holiday scene. Tomorrow night I plan to host my very own orphan-theme party (since Matt's parents are sunbathing on a cruise ship right about now and I am forbidden to leave the country until I'm legit). Im gonna serve gruel (chili) and crumbs (corn bread) for everyone!

Speaking of times spent with friends, I had this terrific wash of nostalgia come over me as I was driving through the frozen scenery today....I suddenly remembered one VERY hot summer in Denton, sitting in Tatiana's parked car, smoking cigarettes, drinking some nasty 40-ounce beverage and listening to a mix CD her boyfriend made her. We were just sitting there, feeling way more hip that we actually were...That was a good summer. When does summer hit Montreal again?

Don't they know its Christmas?

2009-12-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

So, it seems that making new friends has been less of a challenge than I had anticipated it being. Already my weekends have been booked back to back with fondu parties, drinks and shopping with a fabulous duo, bowl after bowl of ramen, midnight rides on the Montreal Metro, shuffling feet across the sparkling snow hand-in-hand towards the house of the night's dinner hosts. And there is so much more in the plans! Never have I been in a place where everyone is so proud of their town, and they are all jumping at the chance to tell you how wonderful life is among the crooked streets and tiny corner stores. Between the language police and man-sized pot holes is a city that lavishes in it's own unique flaws...and makes for passionate conversation around the dinner table.

Christmas this year will be something of a duel experience: On one side, I'll be missing the familial closeness of the Elam tradition of Christmas tamales, cocktail sausages, and ripping through wrapping paper on that glorious morning. But on the flip side, I'll actually get to experience that classic Yuletide scene of snow-topped trees covered in little twinkling lights and people bundled up to the eyeballs. I can remember at home always thinking "its Christmas, but it doesn't feel like it". Here, it certainly feels like the Christmases captured in a snow globe.

Finally some new Etsy stuff!

2009-12-04T06:47:00.001-08:00

Man I know its been a long time since I've updated my humble Etsy store, but I am making amends for my former sins. So here we have it, four new items for your shopping pleasure. There will be more to come in the following days...I guess its just been hard to pick up where I left off when it comes to updating the store...I have only just begun to tap into the montreal thrift spots! So, if anything pleases you, just follow the mini-link on the right of this page.

p.s. my green walls are kinda tough to color balance...its so obvious when I see these pictures back-to-back.

I want! I want! I want!

2009-11-20T14:56:00.000-08:00

Seems like this whole cut-out-leather bootie design is the trend. I know that I would find plenty of outfits to wear a pair of purple, suede swash-buckling high-heeled booties with.

These boot are great hybrid between something practical and something romantic without looking too frou-frou or too frumpy (not that I have anything against looking a little frou-frou). Ah! I really just love all of Steve Madden's shoes.

This grecian goddess dress looks as if its made of girly dreams and a sorbet. Just look at those little crystalline buttons down the front! This reminds me of a dress that I had borrowed from a neighbor girlfriend back when I was in the 5th grade. It was the same color, but had this sheer, angel-like sleeves. My sister and I would wear it around the house and jump off the edge of the sofa, hoping that the sleeves would sprout into real wings.

Oh my gewdness! How sweet is this little blue-eskimo princess coat? I have such an obsession with furry collars...they are so wonderfully luxurious. I have one kind of like this, but not in blue!

Man oh man, I stumpled upon a gold mine of a band today. I don't know why I havent heard of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's sooner, but I cant get this song outta my head. I love how warm and down home the girls voice sounds. This song is approrpiately called "Home". It conjures up all the heartbreakingly wonderful memories of everyone I love back home. They are actually playing Monday night here in ol' Montreal! Sweet!

2009-11-18T14:17:00.000-08:00

So...Im thinking about going to grad school to get my MFA in photography...I know that I have announced with great pride to all of my peers that I am forever "done with school", but I think I may be changing my tune. I mean, why the hell not? Change seems to be the running theme this year, might as well take it another step further into the realms of academia. Well, to be honest, my intentions are not purely for the goal of mastering my craft; it might be a great way to integrate myself into this new place, make some connections and learn a bit more while I'm at it. Once I become a resident here, I should have access to the insanely cheap tuition rates...well, seems like I have already made up my mind about this...

2009-11-17T10:59:00.000-08:00

Our house is shaping up to be a funky little pad. The living room is nearly complete...now we just need a credenza and record player, then we will be in-like-flynn. He and I have had our eye on this Electrohome Apollo record player for about 2 weeks now...we spotted it in a furniture store, but it wasn't operating at the time. Hopefully the owner got it fixed, because Im already day dreaming about where Im gonna put it!

This city really is like non other. There is just this charisma that vibrates through the mish-mash buildings and rings across the bike-path laden streets. On days when the sky is covered up, its good to know that night and city lights can make up for the ugly weather. Matt and I went for a walk the other evening around the Mile End. On one hand we held each other while on the other hand was holding a fresh bagel. We dipped into a little cafe that I had been eyeing for a couple of weeks. No sign above the door, just large, steamy windows and a menagerie of chairs, books, art, plants, and warm looking people. Its a good sign when you walk into anyplace that is playing music that you know all the words to.

Decorating and the home sick blues.

2009-11-06T14:51:00.000-08:00

Know what time it is? BULLET POINT POST!

Matt and I have slowly been undoing all the beige that our condo came standard with. Its now an oasis of green and 70`s orange.
I took off all our verticle blinds and layed them gingerly in the dumpster. Who the hell ever thought those were a good idea?
I miss the obnoxiousness of American television. Canadian TV lacks all the explosions and yelling that I am so accustomed to.
Im getting used to the language barrier here. I may not be able to respond in French yet, but at least I can understand a bit more.
One day Matt and I were strolling through China town and decided to take a chance on a "Mongolian Hotpot". Wrong! We didn`t have a clue as to what we were supposed to do with the boiling hot pot of broth and all the unidentifiable vegitables...boil it I guess?
Modern furniture is nothing but compressed wood. Nothing really compares to the quality and design of vintage.
Fall in Montreal is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
I have my own personal bat cave (a.k.a. underground parking).

breaching the surface for a breath of air

2009-10-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

I need a moment to get my mind off all this bureaucratic bullshit that I'm currently eye-ball deep in. Stress doesn't sit well with me. It just burrows into my stomach like some kind of alien parasite that takes control over my mind and limbs. Suddenly I become this zombie-like abomination who lumbers through the house with uncontrollable fits of panic. The ability to compartmentalize stress is a trait that wasn't passed down through the Elam bloodline. In the words of my mother-in-law "Just take a deep breath. Everything is fixable". Well, its not like I expected becoming a resident of another country EASY...but it certainly would be nice if it was!

Anywho, the other night was a good distraction. Matt and I watched the Ravonettes play at ClubSoda in downtown Montreal. It was rather poignant that the Ravonettes were actually the first band we saw together. Awwwww how cuuute (throws up in the corner). They were just as spectacular as the last time (and Sharon just as radiantly beautiful as ever). I confess that I haven't heard much from their latest album, but from what I gathered during the live performance their new material seems more dancy, poppy, and less noisy than their earlier work. Obviously I need to wrap my ears around their new album to make a full assessment!

The opening band, Black Angels, were a delightful surprise. If I had to describe their sound, I'd say "they sounded like high priests bringing down the knowledge of the universe to bestow upon the ears of all listeners". Or lets just say, lots of buzzy reverb, sitars, and echoey lyrics. A nice choice of band to play before the Danish duo.

Well, now its snowing...I think this might be the first snowfall of the season. Little pieces of the sky spiraling down earthward...

Living out of suitcases

2009-10-13T09:54:00.001-07:00

So, for the past few weeks my life has been in a state of general disarray. All of my clothes are stuffed away in suitcases, shoved into some corner, or are boxes away and traversing across the country in the back of some eighteen wheeler. It drives me nuts! I'm desperate for a time when I can simply fold my underwear into a designated drawer instead of leaving them piled on the carpet. I know, my troubles are hard.

The upside is that Matt and I have been having fun playing house and buying new furniture. Its slowly coming together...the other day he and I purchased these fabulous 60's armless chairs from the nicest antique dealer. Apparently the chairs had be stashed away in someone's "stamp collection" room, simply waiting 40 years for me to come and give them a happy home. Along with the chairs, we got a small dresser that is from the same era, a credenza for the television, and a sofa from Ikea that I have been wrangling to assemble. The damned thing is giving me more trouble than I care to elaborate about.

High on the priority list is learning some French, dammit. This language barrier has reduced a once independent young woman into shy girl who hides behind her husband when a stranger says "bonjour" to her. Pathetic. I already suffer from a mild form of social anxiety (mainly answering the phone and having to talk with strangers), so the difference in language has only acerbated my condition. Maybe Rosetta Stone can cure my ills. Or maybe I need to stop being such a wuss...

Anywho, please enjoy the pictures of my favorite new chairs and my morbidly obese cat.

2009-10-06T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well, where do I begin?

Nearly three years in the making and here I am, finally in Montreal with my freshly wedded husband. After several months of stressing and preparing for the event, Matt and his parents flew into Dallas on September the 26th and had our little ceremony on Sunday, the 27th. Now, I have never been the type of gal to meticulously daydream about weddings, but I have to say that I was very pleased with how everything turned out. The food, weather, accommodations, and company were perfect...well, except for the fact that despite a mild weather prior to the wedding, it was 90 degrees outside during the ceremony...but I guess thats the blistering charm of Texas. I found it cute that Matt kept commenting on how our wedding was "very Gilmore Girls" with the gazebo and folksy venue. After all of the familial rituals Collete invited all my friends over to her place for one of those unforgettable evenings. Friends brought over bottles of my favorite wine, we sat outside in the atrium and chatted, then spent the rest of the night playing on Jamé's Casio making the most supreme of beats. Most nights ended that way at the casa de Collete...sitting on the bedroom floor playing music, making crafts or wrestling with the kitties.

Saying goodbye to Denton and all the friends I made has been one of the most challenging events in my life. That place felt like an old pair of jeans that fits just right. The people are warm and all know you by name or by whatever antics you're famous for. The white Christmas lights that are wrapped around the great oak trees on the square are on all year round. J&J's pizza rumbles with the sound of live music playing in the basement. There is always something exciting in the night-time air...its the energy of 30,000 twenty somethings planning something great, or just doing nothing at all. That little summer town was the perfect place for me to grow into myself.

Now I'm here in Montreal after a 4 day long car ride through much of the country that I have seen very little of...Its a side of America that I have always known about, but was never sure it really existed. Its those rolling hills dotted with red barns and silos like one of those painfully nostalgic Norman Rockwell paintings. Its a different type of Americana. But, I'll discuss that later. There has been enough change in my life to ramble on and on, so I'll spare you for the time being.

2009-09-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

It seems as though this rainwater will never cease from tumbling from the slouching sky. I'll just be here, in this box, sleeping on this bed, waiting patiently for the sun to come out of hiding and show the world her pretty face. But until then, its embarrassingly long naps and wistful sighs seeping through the cracks under the window.

10 things I highly recommend

2009-09-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

Share a one-person umbrella with a good friend
Make yourself a decedent breakfast. Eggs, toast, sausage, coffee, the whole nine yards.
Shout out the answers to "Cash Cab" even if you are watching alone.
Make a pot of coffee at 2 a.m. so you can stay up making crafts in your friend's bedroom.
Go see William Kentridge's exhibition if it's coming to your local modern art museum.
Get high. At least once.
Keep a sketch pad on you at all times because you never know!
Buy some absurd shoes and wear them to inappropriate events.
Never pass up the chance to make your friends laugh by making an absolute fool of yourself.
Make a pizza from scratch. It's astoundingly time consuming.

2009-09-10T00:15:00.001-07:00

There comes a time when you finally feel as if your past is beginning to compound into some formidable history. I look back on the map of my life and trace the history with my finger, smoothing over each serpentine road that carries my story. With each leap forward there is a very definitive marker that sets the standards of what my life will be like in the future. This is a big one, up there with moving out of my parents home to go to college, my sister moving away to California, and graduating. But, my goodness how the time accelerates as I grow a little older each day. My childhood is rushing further and further from view... Those memories are becoming a little more fuzzy and improvised as time passes on. Eventually my history will only exist in the fading photographs and the often-failing memory of people.

This oh-too-long-goodbye has given me the realization that I should try be kind and give something good to everyone. Even to the people that I cannot find any common ground to stand on between us. Because when I leave this town or country or this life, I won't have the ability to explain my motives or apologize for sketchy behavior.

fall lovelies

2009-09-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

I am absolutely in love with all of my finds! I hope you are too! This will most likely be the last Etsy update for a while. With a small wedding and great-big-move to plan, I'm going to be unbelievably busy. So, get 'em while you can!

2009-08-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

When I think about those grown over alleys and spiral staircases, I feel my heart pitter-patter. There are times that I cannot believe that I will inherit such an amazing city...all to myself! No more waving goodbye from the elevated seat of an airplane or "last night" excursions through the slanted streets. I have to keep my mind focused on these wonderful treasures or else I start to dwell on all the investments that I'm leaving behind here. Sometimes its hard to believe that I will be doing all these "adult" things all at once...with one felled swoop I'll be moving to another country, becoming a citizen, and becoming a wife to a spectacular man. I'll be the first amongst all my friends to leave. Maybe I can pave the way, show them that humble beginnings can lead to a greater elsewhere. Wherever they find their elsewhere to be.

One month and everything is new again.

Blown to smithereens.

2009-08-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

smithereens by Straight up Jankey featuring Forever21

The other day my friend Miss Jamé McCraw brought the movie, "Smithereens" to my attention. It was shot in the early 80's and the protagonist, Wren, is this young punk girl who tears through the gritty streets of New York in her red Chuck Tailors hellbent on starting her own band by rubbing elbows with other punk rockers, hoping to siphon some of their glory unto herself. Its like a sad yet cute love story for skeezy punkers.

Scissor Tail is on fiiiire

2009-08-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

Hey there dudes and dudettes (well, I guess mostly dudettes). I restocked ScissorTail Vintage with some really wonderful items, lots of great shoes and dresses. Just take a little clicky-click on my Etsy link over there on the right!

2009-08-11T00:10:00.001-07:00

I take it all back. I know I'll never feel the same about a place or about the people I'm around. It sometimes feels like Im stuck in one of those teen-coming-of-age movies that involve an impeccable soundtrack and quirky characters that move the plot in a familiar direction. I usually tend to feel that the atmosphere created in those kinds of movies is too unrealistic, but then again, I remember music videos like this that seem to capture everything it means to be where I am.

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 - The funniest videos clips are here

2009-08-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

Its been too long since I have been in the thrift stores! It's good to be back, looking for goodies to put up for sale. I found some pretty amazing stuff the past couple of days and will keep updating the shop. Here are some items that I just recently listed.

Here is a preview of some items that I have yet to have listed, but will be up soon. So, be sure to keep checking up for updates! I'm sure I'll be searching around for more treasure.

Things to be excited about

2009-08-06T06:54:00.001-07:00

Whats this? A stop-motion animation movie about a talking fox? Wait...theres more... a stop-motion animation movie about a talking fox directed by Wes Anderson with featured voice talent of George Clooney, Owen Wilson, Bill Murray, and pint-sized dream boat Jason Schwartzman. All of this information is pretty much new to me, yet so far I have already heard some premature clamoring about Wes Anderson's adaptation of the Ronald Dahl's classic. They say that it seems to have already missed the mark. There are even some gripes about the animation looking "creepy" and "flat". Personally, I think it looks beautiful. I sorely miss the warm charm of stop-motion animation and hand-drawn cartoons that I associate with my youth. And yes, I'm sure that this adaptation will be chalk-full of all the witty quips and quirky moments that are the trademark of Wes Anderson films. I don't care that over the past years Wes has been crowned "king of the hipsters". I love him, I love all his films and his imaginary world and I'm sure Fantastic Mr. Fox will be just as charming and quirky as ever.

Kitties. I love kitties. All of them. Especially this one at my parent's house. His name is Atticus and he has the longest fangs I have ever seen on a cat his size. They just hang out of his little mouth, making him look like a mischievous little devil (which he is, but the kind of devil you like).

Modern Guilt Acoustic "Chem Trails" from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

Beck being hard at work at covering the Velvets AND an acoustic version of his latest album, Modern Guilt. This rendition of "Chemtrails" is wonderfully dreamy. There is actually very little this man can do that I don't automatically love. And I know he catches an unfair amount of flack from these music snobs *cough* Pitchfork *cough* for not sounding like Odelay anymore. There are so few artists who have the breadth and range as Beck...every now and then I delve through his discography and am constantly amazed at how well his songs age and how far he has come artistically. No, he isn't exactly reinventing the wheel anymore, but anyone would be hard-pressed to find a musician who has the seemingly unsurpassed creativity that Beck has.

Music for now

2009-08-03T17:27:00.000-07:00

The heat has finally hit critical mass. Its a long, slow ride into the cooler days from here. I can hear the faint clamor of my parents from the backyard against the tempo of this old grandfather clock. I want to go home and ride my little car into the sunset and back to the microcosm that is Denton. I need those hazy nights when up and down blur into one, bleary direction. I love the boredom and the time spent alone too. I always come here hoping to talk about the little things that I acquire, but always ended up swooning over the heat and nostalgic feelings I get when Im away.

Hell yes

2009-08-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

Back in town with a new bravado and a brisk wind whipping through my hair. Gonna listen to the new records I bought and let my mom laugh at my musical selection. Gonna let Steven Hawking teach me more about black holes. Have to work off the extra happy pounds and cut the hair. Gonna look through these TeenVouge magazines and pretend that I'm sixteen again. Gotta get back home and have girl-time with my lady friends. Gonna try and not to spend too much time playing paper dolls with Beck.

not ded yet

2009-07-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

Please excuse my three week abscence. It may be a little longer until the blog/flickr/etsy thing is back on all cylinders, been busy at work on my soon-to-be life as a Montrealer. This whole thing is alot more difficult than I ever fancied it being...its funny how love can make you braver (or rather, more reckless). The past few weeks have been a barrage of stress and unexpected worries, but I'm not letting it sully my vision. I know where my happiness is and I have faith that things will settle into their appropriate places when the time comes.

Transmissions may be brief, but keep your ears to the ground. I'll be stomping around soon enough.

Do the joy

2009-07-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Goldthwaite, Texas. Population 1801. It went up by 2 points for a couple days though. My best gal-pal and I took the scenic drive into the dead center of Texas to visit Jamè McCraw, an old friend of hers. Now, this wasn't your typical drive down the interstate highway through the copy-paste-copy-paste towns that now dominate the the Southern and Mid-West states. The little towns that we pasted through seemed as if they hadn't been touched by time or technology since the late 50's. No Wal-Mart, no Target, no Starbucks or Baskin Robins. Just some po-dunk ol' gas stations and greasy cafes. In other words it was great. Strange, though, to feel a bit like a foreigner in your own state.

At night the three of us hid behind Jamè's parent's shed to smoke and drink beers. While laying down on the concrete patch and staring at the vastness of the heavens, I felt as if I were suspended at the bottom of a great sphere and was looking out into space rather than laying flat and looking up. Try it next time. Be sure to play some Portishead and have a few drinks in your belly first.

The good heat.

2009-07-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

This is the good heat. The kind of sweat that affirms the relationship between your skin and the giant star burning it's fuel 91 million miles away. Conversation comes easy well after the wine has stopped flowing and the food is no longer being served. Even though the grace period of summer has stepped past its pleasant threshold and has driven deep into the realms of inescapable heat sung to the tune of hundreds of hissing cicadas, we all sweat it out together over our equally as sweaty bottles of cerveza.

shoppy shop shop

2009-07-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

New stuff in my Etsy shop today! Great boots, wrap skirt and necklace.

2009-06-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

Don't worry Mary, its only weather. They all say, "I couldn't do it. Its too far and cold". But you know, you get used to it. In fact, you get so used to it that in the dead of winter you can practically wander about in your drawers. At least, thats what I keep telling myself. I'll have to say "so long" to these endless summers.

Rearranged

2009-06-30T08:45:00.001-07:00

I have always found that after rearranging my room, I feel a little better about the world. My environment feels fresher and my mind seems a bit less cluttered with useless, disorganized thoughts. I can understand why people believe in feng shui. Something about a rearranged room can lighten the mood of an entire home. But all that business aside, I had to make room for my record player and speakers! Mother and I relentlessly searched all the local thrift stores to find this handsome set of speakers and a receiver for my Pioneer turntable. If the pot couldn't get any sweeter, we got it half off for 40 bucks.

So since then my mom and I have been rummaging through dusty old piles of records, looking for some sparkling musical gems. She has been collecting records that she had back when she was my age. I think this new hobby connects us through something that is timeless; the music that she listened to in her college years connects her to the life I am playing out in the present. I found it particularly touching when she and I and my dad all drove out to Half Priced Books to go record shopping together. And let me tell you, I don't think there has ever been a day that my dad willingly elected to go out shopping with mom and I. I think he got genuinely excited when he saw that mom had found a Leon Russell record that he used to adore during his youth.

2009-06-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

Just when I knew nobody was looking, I quietly slipped away to Wimberley to spend some time with The Great Mose and my bird-like mother. There was much antiquing, dining, and all around good times had. Because I suck at cohesive storytelling, I'll just list the highlights in bullet form.

Waking up every morning at 7 o'clock to go for a hike with my grandfather. He would comment on how nice it was it have someone to quicken his pace from his usual slow trudge.
Discussing world politics and economical issues with Mose. I told him about the giant patch of trash in the ocean and he told me how his community was in the works of restoring the rivers to help fill the fast-depleting water supply.
Home-made margaritas out on the deck while playing with the worlds most friendly kitty.
Mother and I exploring Austin like we had never explored before. I was utterly blown away at how many vintage shops we found that had such a high quantity of mid-century clothing and accouterment. Dare I say, it was almost TOO much vintage stuff. Every store had such an amazing, well edited selection of vintage that it seemed...too easy. It was like all of the fun of sifting through mountains of coal to find that one diamond had been spoiled. Well, I managed to find plenty of stuff anyhow, hahah. Oh life is hard.
Vinyl shopping with mom. She had recently found the mother-load of all HiFi stereo cabinets with working speakers and turn table. Now she's collecting vinyl records from her highschool years and in the process making me unspeakably jealous. One day I'll find my stereo cabinet...and all will be right with the world.
Being chatted up by an old, snooty gay couple who felt it very necessary to inform me that Montreal gets cold in January. I love how people tell me this as if it had never occurred to me. "Oh, cold you say? Well, I'll be damned! I would of NEVER guessed".
Assisting for a real-live fashion photoshoot with my internship.
BECK COVERING THE VELVET UNDERGROUND Its like the little man has finally discovered that he has a website and a fan-base.

Thrifter's paradise

2009-06-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe the winners that I picked out at the local thrift stores today! I think I have visited every secondhand store in the Denton/Lewisville area over this past week. What else is there to do? Work? Drink? Peshaaaawwwww.

This is the highwaisted denim skirt of my dreams! Its stretchy, comfortable and it doesn't make me look like I have a poochy-gut. Thats a winner in my books. The shirt and skirt were both purchased at this great little thrift store with the nicest owners. One of the girls who works there always gushes over the clothes that I bring up...She's totally adorable and slips me a discount or two.

Same skirt. The blouse was found at the same place as well. Its a long shirt with a tie collar and impressionist floral print. That bag was a total steal too. 3 bucks for a flawless leather shoulder bag? Yes please.

I know this walks the line between edgy and ugly ( you can be the judge). But I think its a great, classic 80's look with the hot pink and black "static" pattern and oversized cut

Cute red top that goes well with the only wide-legged pants I'll probably ever own. My wardrobe seriously needs some more "normal" pieces like this...its getting choked out by wild prints and vintage rejects. I told my friend the other day about this fact and she spoke the truth, " Oh Mary, don't lie to yourself...you like dressing like a weird-o". Well said, well said indeed.

These are a few of my favorite things

2009-06-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

This is pretty much how I envision my future home is going to look. The space-age coffee table, pleasure orb lights, geometric printed couch, oh my! Its just everything of a nerdy-space cadet's dream. Candacewright has a great collection of mod rooms for decorating inspiration.

Love in the spring time, indeed. Reminds me this Japanese version of The Little Mermaid that I watched habitually as a child. In all Japanese-obsessed tragedy, it ended with the little mermaid turning into seafoam rather than having to kill her beloved prince. Though, I suppose that is how the original fairy tale ended anyhow.

I wanna be a little husky girl! Her pose and face are just so cute! This girl's work reminds me alot of some art I had been experimenting with ages ago. I would use clear vinyl and trace over models in fashion magazines, then add paint and other mixed media...I should pick that hobby back up.

Rodel LA's Flickr account is one of my favorites that I have stumbled upon. The photographer really captures that futuristic aesthetic of the late 60's. Plus all of the models are Brazilian and are totally gorgeous.

Unimportant lists

2009-06-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

1. I like to give my friends gifts when they don't expect it. It's not that I'm hoping that the favor will be returned, its more like if I put some good into the world it will make life for other people a little happier...and I'm convinced that the happiness comes back around. Plus, mommy always told me to share the wealth.

2. Thrifting alone is the best form of meditation for me. I'll seriously sift through every rack in search of some gold...The best way to do it is to go without any kind of expectation. Let the goodies come to you.

3. The sign of a good friend is knowing that even though you haven't seen them in ages, there is still an untapped well of conversation.

4. After a month of not going to the gym, I broke down and ponyed-up 78 bucks for a membership at my school gym. I swear, there was a backlog of endorphins stored up in my muscles waiting to be released because afterwards I felt amazing.

5. I think I have gotten to the point that I am less interested the fantasy realm of whimsy and more interested in actual science. If I had to choose between a movie about fairies and mythical beasts or a documentary about the evolution of the micro-raptor or blackholes...I'd go for the blackholes and feathered dinosaurs. I think the world holds enough puzzles as it is; there isn't much need to add fantasy to an already mysterious universe.

6. As you can tell I have changed up the look of my blog. This may not be the last incarnation, but I figured it was time for a little change.

7. Last night I dreamed that I was Ryan Adam's tour manager. He was complaining that he didn't want to tour anymore and was asking for my advice. I told him to advertise that he was going to stop touring, then put on the greatest performance of his life. Then after he had outdone himself, return to touring after a couple of years for his great comeback. Why are dreams so damned random? I guess its just another one of those great mysteries that I'll learn about on The Discovery Channel or something.

Floral summer

2009-06-16T09:33:00.001-07:00

Floral patterned dresses seem to be my latest obsession. Every time I go thrifting, my eye go straight to those early 90's jumper dresses and rompers...I think this time around I scored some real winners. And you know what that means? It means that YOU win because YOU can buy them from ME! Awesome, take a looksie.

2009-06-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

I feel as if my skin is rubbing up against the borders of this town. It all seemed so appropriate for the time being...but that time is passing at an alarming pace. Its like I have over stayed my welcome here and everyone is too polite to inform me of my status. Nights like this make it hard for me to think that it will be something of the past. Some of the best friends I have ever made are products of this silly place. I tell them that they must come and visit me when Im far away. It's heartbreaking and wonderful all at the same time. Songs on the stereo make me feel like I'm in some coming-of-age movie that ends on a heart wrenching yet gratifying note. Someday I'll look back on these nights and think of the people who made them so special...Hopefully they will be near to look back with me and reminisce about the hazy daze that is Denton, Texas.

My Montreal man

2009-06-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

My Montreal man. He is a man of his maps, ice cream shakes, and peanut butter toast. He quotes Leonard Cohen like a devoted disciple, meditates on David Lynch and Steven Hawking. He wears his beard like his hair: disheveled and supremely unkempt. He's my man-sized pillow, warm and always ready for me to plop my head on his chest. We spend so much of our life missing each other...but time is drawing near like a deep sigh of relief. My Montreal man, be like a wren and build me a little nest to swoop into.

Music/Fashion

2009-06-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been taking notice of the musicians and bands that inspire me in more ways than just listening to their music. I think we are all a little subject to take stylistic pointers from those rock gods/goddess on stage, and I am no different. Since I'm currently (or what seems like eternally) unemployed, I have compiled a few examples of musicians who have their own distinct look, and how someone might translate it into their own wardrobe.

The Cramps by Straight up Jankey featuring Forever21

The first we have here is Poison Ivy from The Cramps. She is the most badass psychobilly mutha on the planet. This look in entirely unrealistic, but then again so are The Cramps...this is how I would dress if I were forever trapped in a Tim Burton daydream or something.

Beck circa Midnite Vultures by Straight up Jankey featuring Alexander Wang

The second look I have going is inspired by my all-time lover boy, Beck Hansen circa Midnite Vultures. Now, Beck is an interesting musician and fashion icon in that he tends to embody a particular style while at the same time recontextualize it in his own way. His look during the Midnite Vultures period was definitely his most experimental and somewhat gender-bending. I'd like to think that I could pull off electric pink pants if I were as narrow as Mr. Hansen.

The Raveonettes by Straight up Jankey featuring MAC shoes

Lastly we have a look that would be typical of Sharin Foo from the Raveonettes. If I were a rockstar, I'd probably be more akin to Sharin in style. She floats somewhere in between rockabilly, vintage goth with a modern aesthetic. Plus, she is most likely one of the most beautiful ladies in the music world...I'd kill for her cheekbones and statuesque physique.

Los Angeles

2009-06-11T18:27:00.000-07:00

Miss Vanessa! The loveliest flower in all of California. I love her house and her FACE. She and JoEllen were pretty much my accomplices all week long.

Diana and co honestly mpany took me to, perhaps, the coolest place on the planet: The Museum of Jurassic Technologies. Yeah, and this is a display of miniature trailer parks within the museum. Makes total sense. This was definitely one of those places that has to be experienced to be understood... I don't even know what to make of it other than it's totally rad.

Not sure what this was supposed to be...I think maybe some kind of overly elaborate zodiac calendar.

Another bizarre exhibit at the Museum of Jurassic Technologies. Imagine walking in on this display in a dimly lit room with the soothing sounds of Native American chanting.

My sister and Vani take me out to downtown LA to go fabric shopping with them. Its a great place to be if you like homeless people and shopkeepers who make you dance for discounts.

Pretty much LA in a nutshell right here. A bunch of random crap, some palm trees, a crazy blue sky and the work of some tagger.

Diana and "Monkey" talking some serious shit in the back of Alex and Courtney's home.

It's about 12am California time, but far later for my jet-lagged Texan self. Here I am trying to convince Diana to take me back to her place to hide from all the tasty chips. I think I ate my weight in total crap that day.

Alex graciously pours me the last of his champaign. Please notice the can of choco-covered expresso beans. After about 30 glasses of wine, that was about the only thing that kept me awake.

Mr. Jack Conway was a gentleman and showed me around Silver Lake, a.k.a, my motherland. Here his is creeping around in Time Travel Mart. Thats right, Time Travel Mart, where you can find all of your time jumping needs...like agriculture, viking repellant, dinosaur eggs, and t-shirts.

I completely forget what this place was called, but it was this awesome gift/book/art gallery store in Silver Lake. Imagine Spencer's gifts, but really freaking cool ( I know thats a tough one).

Come down

2009-06-10T23:55:00.000-07:00

Leap into the atmosphere to come back down to where I belong. I'll go far to be reminded of how much I already fit in with where I started. LA was nice and I was fortunate to have some good friends and hospitable strangers provide me with a good time. Though, I wish that I would of came at a different time...most of my friends were understandably busy with important projects, leaving very limited time for them to come out and play. This visit certainly did feel like my last fade-away before I commit to a different life. It felt good. Not entirely sure if it was necessary, but I think in a way it has solidified my decisions and has helped to highlight how I have evolved from the world that used to be inhabited by my sister. I no longer feel haunted by the ghosts of what-could-of-been and can say with certainty that I have changed into something I can be proud of. Looking back, it was good. Looking to the future, and it too is good.

I uploaded some pictures of the trip to my flickr account. Later I'll make a proper post here with photos and captions and all that fun stuff!

California waiting

2009-06-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

I packed everything I need for a week's stay in LA in one bag. Count 'em. ONE BAG, ladies and gentlemen. That in it's self is a small miracle on my part. I'm looking forward to the temporary escape (not that there is much to escape in this town other than the usual routine, which really is entertaining). I'm determined to hit the Getty this time around though...I can't believe that I have never been, considering how many times I have visited the city. For shame!

Day one at the internship went well. (oh yeah, I'm interning at a commercial photography studio...not sure if I mentioned that anywhere here). Everyone seems pretty chill. They have me doing bitch work, but I expected as much. Actually, I take pleasure in completing small tasks. Minor victories make me feel like a winner. Or wiener. Whatever. I honestly don't know if this is going to turn into anything that pays, but I suppose thats not really the point. Its the experience or resume candy or whatever...I go there and complete my tasks without ego. On the plus side I get access to alot of really good free food. Now THAT is a win.

I gotta head full of stars tonight. Driving home through the city square, the white lights wrapped around the old oak trees catch my eye at a nostalgic angle. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm slow rolling through someone else's daydream.

2009-06-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Floral shorts by Straight up Jankey featuring Monsoon bags

I actually just listed a pair of floral shorts on my Etsy site. This is the outfit I'd wear if I could cram my huge ass into those adorable shorts. Sadly, I cannot...so they are up for grabs!

2009-05-31T12:06:00.000-07:00

Cream Soda by Straight up Jankey featuring Miss Selfridge

This is how my summer should look. Giving high-heels a rest for a bit and putting something a little more reasonable on...we will see how long that lasts though. Im kinda freaking about about that Nixon watch. Strange considering I really am not a watch person. I think with that one, I would be willing to compromise.

I see California fast approaching on the horizon. Its barreling full spend down that desert highway wearing a pair of mirrored aviators and a long scarf. Kickin' up dust, singing out loud. Just hope that my people's aren't too busy to show this little girl a good time. I want the beach and Amoeba Music.

Last night my friend's new roommate was retelling the most horrific stories about hitch-hiking and brushing up next to death with a potential murderer behind the wheel. I kept getting the heebie-jeebies all night.

I <3 shoes

2009-05-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

I really do love shoe shopping, even when its not for me. The other day I found some lovely shoes for all the ladies of the world. Lots of leather and suede! I have a few more items going up in my shop, but that is for later. Follow the link to my store on the right ----->

H-town is go

2009-05-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

If its one thing I openly abhor more than anything, its Houston. Anyone who breathes those first few letters in my presence is met with a barrage of furrowed eyebrows and a scowling mouth. I am completely aware that my disdain for the city is largely unfounded and due to a lack of exploration of it (but I also think I have legitimate reasons, too). So, when my good friend Collete asks me if I want to go to Houston for the weekend to visit a gallery that is displaying our professor's latest collection, I said "yes" with the enthusiasm of someone being asked to attend a funeral, or graduation ceremony, or some other social function that elicits a stinky reaction.

Well, this time around Houston showed me her better side; a side that I have been vaguely aware of but too much of a damned snob to actually enjoy. We first landed at my parent's home in the evening where she and I enjoyed some mommy-made cocktails and home cooked hamburgers delicious enough to make you want to end your life because you know you will never consume something of that quality ever again. The next day Collete and I put on our best faces and headed up to the gallery space where our professor's work was waiting for us. Of course, it was beautiful, delicate, fresh, innovative, and inspiring as her work always is. From what I have seen, the next "big thing" is lenticular imaging. Think 3-D without the stupid glasses. Look it up.

The next stop was an amazing cluster of galleries all located under one, large, grey industrial building on the "hip" side of town down Montrose Blvd. Each gallery had different artists and all were phenomenal. At the Anya Tish gallery we saw Maxim Wakultschik's "Closely Watched Trains" collection along with a few kitschy pieces by a Neva Mikulicz. Her work consisted of highly detailed mixed-media drawings of kitschy, mid-century settings with a video aspect blended into the composition. Fun stuff.

After a few hours of artistic perusal, it was time go get down to what she and I do best. Eat. Well no, that was later. SHOP! Down Westheimer street is a high concentration of resale/vintage/funky-ass clothing boutiques. Naturally Collete and I give ourselves up to the great god of vintage clothing and try on each and every item that we can wrap our sweaty fingers around. Next time anyone is in H-town, I'd highly suggest The Leopard Lounge for an unsurpassed selection of vintage dresses. DO IT NOW.

The rest of the brief visit was dotted with dinner from Collete's family, numerous cups of coffee, pretending to hate Urban Outfitters, and dim sum. Overall it was one of the best Houston experiences to date. Next time I have to roll into town, maybe I'll be rolling my eyes a little less.

A sea change

2009-05-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

There is a sea change rising at my door. I hear its waves beating relentlessly against my house, telling me that it's all going to come down. Turning me around and upside down. Its going to spirit me away to a far off land. Its going to make me grow up and teach me all the lessons I have neglected to learn myself. What will happen to my world when I'm no longer there? Will my friends remember me? Or will I fade back into the ether, like a fleeting thought or like the feeling you get when you are trying to remember someone's name? I'm ready for it. I'm not ready for it. I'm ready. I'm not. I am. All these things I have collected during my stay in this temporary town are making me feel heavy. Eventually I'll have to shed the poundage and leave with only the things I really love (shoes).

Im going to California at the beginning of June. I know its short notice, and I feel like I might be squandering my time and money...but I don't know when I'll be able to go again to see my sister. We are both going to be monumentally busy during the rest of this year and a flight from Texas to California is far cheaper than from Montreal. Plus, I've had the taste of California in my mouth for some time now. I fear that if I don't take this opportunity while I still can, I might miss out on reconnecting with the best friend I'll ever have.

Secret plans. Wheels in motion.

Pretty things for us all

2009-05-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hey there, I just finished listing the last of my items. Got some really lovely stuff! Also, I reduced the prices on alot of my older listings...so, if you are on a budget and want some cool shit, GO TAKE A LOOK! Plus, I always offer my things at a good price anyways! Its a no-brainer.

Shoes galore

2009-05-15T20:40:00.001-07:00

Man, I hit the freaking jackpot! This week's yield at the thrift stores has turned up some amazing shoes. I have a few more great items to list ( 80's bathing suit, 70's dress, vintage jewels, and an ethnic belt). I'll be posting those later though. Just follow the link to the right and take a look!

Playing dress-up and Johnny Slash

2009-05-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

This past weekend marked the beginning of my life as a college alumni. Well, technically next weekend will be when I walk, but thats more for my mother than for anything else. The photo students do something a little more unique by organizing our own gallery opening. This year was particularly special because it was the largest graduating photo class (28 students) that the program as ever processed. Now, imagine if you will, 28 students with all of their family, friends, and acquaintances coming to visit the gallery on the closing reception, all at once. Lets just say, I never thought my BFA senior show would be so...sweaty. Ah well, we all sweated together in a collective push towards the end. My professor talked to my mother, thanking her for sending me his way...admittedly I got a little misty-eyed. I never know how to respond to those situations...usually it ends up in me mumbling some kinda response that makes me seem slightly daft.

enough about the awkward points, lets talk about the good!

1. Having my boyfriend fly down from Canada-land to be with me, even if it could only be for 5 days.
2. The dinner with my family at my favorite Thai restaurant. I swear Id bathe in pineapple curry if it were socially acceptable.
3. Showing off my boyfriend to some of my favorite people.
4. Star Trek. heheh

Okay. Enough of that. I NEED SOME WORK DAMMIT. You get your degree and people just start throwing cash at your face. Thats how it works, right? No? Well I have been sorely mislead.
So, while I submit applications and resumes to numerous establishments, my friends and I get gussied up and go out for burgers at the local rootbeer-float joint. We were feeling rather whimsical after watching some Square Pegs and wishing life could be that well written and silly. I light up every time Johnny Slash comes on screen...seems like alot of kids these day try embody that quirky persona, but just come off as a self-absorbed douche canoe. Its funny, I usually don't go for the silly high school programs, but this one is so well done! Every scene has obviously been well thought-out and beautifully shot. Its a treat just from a visual standpoint; I guess thats the thing that draws me in the most...the soft focus and lush yet ever-so-pastel color pallet of the early 80s.

silly things

2009-05-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

who knows. where. what. I'll be. two. ten. twenty years from now. somehow. someway. I think i'll know. always have known. that I'll still be with you. under these tiny stars. these tiny sheets. this open sky. wishing for one last bite of your ice cream.

trufax.com

2009-05-01T15:37:00.001-07:00

Time for some true facts about yours truly:

1. I need a job like no ones business. This little lala life that has been provided to me is coming to a fast end...someone employ me si vous plais!

2. At any given moment, I think I am hearing my cell phone ring. The damn thing haunts my dreams!

3. My mother taught me to always mind the birds. I know all the different types of song birds, ground birds, raptors, and water fowl in the Texas area. I think there is some small merit in being familiar with your local birds...never know when they might help you out or lend you an ear.

4. When Im stressed out I clean my already-immaculate apartment. I think its years of having to clean up my parents house as a kid. There was always some kind of impending doom if dad came home and the kitchen was a mess...or more like we would have to endure monumental amounts of whining.

5. People always ask me how I manage to look so put together everyday. They think it comes natural, that I just throw something on and it works...no, not the case...I practice all of my outfits. I'll spend a couple hours a week just trying on clothes that I own, finding new ways to wear them. My cat likes to watch, but she is a poor judge of style.

6. Once I was described as "social tofu", in that I tend to adapt and hang out with a very wide range of people. Whether they be punks, preps, hippies, mods and rockers, scenesters, or just your typical jo-blow, I tend to find some common ground amongst them all.

7. I greatly appreciate a beautiful girl. Its like a breath of fresh, cool air when a lovely lady enters the room. I'll think to myself "oohh I want to BE her!" or wish that she and I could be friends. Its weird, I know.

8. I have a hardcore addiction to coffee. Im sure this isn't some great detail, alot of people share this one, but it's an important substance to me. I can have it all ways: black, sweet, light, foamy or on ice. Just as long as it's strong...can't have any of that weak shit.

9. I hate girly movies. Anything that could automatically be deemed as a "chick flick" is off my list. I simply find the stories and connections to be trite and vastly unrealistic. Thats not to say that I can't appreciate fantasy, its just that these characters tend to be either overly dramatic or so far into their own selves that they can't see past their sappy bullshit.

10. Tacos rule.

11. While I often bitch and moan about my body (like most idiot girls my age) I think for the most part Im pretty attractive. I don't have a ton of hang-ups about my frame. Yes, I have hips wide enough for 400 babies to shoot out of and my boobs haven't grown since I first acquired them...but its all good. Im doing good in the leg department and know how to shake it when the occasion calls for it.

12. Im not a fighter, Im a lover. Never really get into arguments with people or friends. Maybe I tend to get a little annoyed or sassy mouthed, but I never really get angry at them.

13. The night time is the right time. Don't really go out during the day so when the sun sinks away, thats when things really start.

I hope this is a sad song

2009-04-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

I come home and open the song that I downloaded from my boyfriends MSN account. I hope its a sad one tonight...the song happily obliges. For the very first time I feel as if I come to some great understanding of my best friend's child hood. It took me so long, even before i knew her to realize how sad it is. I know she doesn't need my pity, but that she has my every most ounce of love for her well being and happiness. This all came to me as she showed me the final proof of the photo-book thats she publishing. The gravity of the photo that she has chosen for the cover has finally hit me...Its funny, because I have been aware of this photo for a while, but it has never reached me...I never understood its significants until now. A simple composition of a little bird singing, a clock, an old news clipping, and the faint shadow of a bird cage cast over the scene.

Tonight I came to realize that I have never had a better friend. And it breaks my heart to know that I won't always know her.

One cigarette, six coffees

2009-04-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

What I need is just one good evening with a very good friend, about six cups of coffee and my first cigarette in a week. Collete and I met up at the local art-house cafe; she came with every intention to finish some algebra homework, but our boisterous laughter and gossiping shooed away any attempt to study. She tells me how this town falls apart when I leave, that people aren't what they appear to be and they are doing all the things that they shouldn't be doing. I tell her not to worry too much, people are never what you'd expect them to be...leave them alone with their flaws because at some point we have probably disillusioned someone else. We sit outside as the sun drips further down the horizon-line...our clothes covered in cigarette ashes and sunlight. It occurred to me that I love this little place in its entirety. I love the fact that Im a stone's throw away from anyone that I know, that everyone is as broke as I am yet still manages to make the best of their time, the local hang-out joints and petty drama, the wanna be hipsters, the actual hipsters, the maddening wind that doesn't allow you to have nice hair, and the handful of people who miss you when you haven't been around to brighten their day.

My third cup of coffee for the evening...probably not a good idea right before I hit the gym.

Im sorry, thats not for sale.

2009-04-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

Lord, how long as it been since I was involved in a yard sale? AGES I tell you, AGES! Early this morning I dragged my lazy ass out of bed and gathered some of my unwanted clothes and accessories to sell in my friend's yard sale. It's got to be the easiest way to make any kind of money (albeit, not much money, but better than nothing). We pretty much just sat on the front steps of Susan's house, and shouted out prices to passerbys. Little Hispanic girls came and cleaned up the collection of jewelry I was offering. I loved how people would slowly roll by in their cars, stick their necks out the window, then speed away if the selection was not up to their yard-sale standards. It was really quite a spectacular sight: four kids sitting out on the lawn, smoking cigarettes, trying to sell a wild assortment of shoes, clown paintings, ill fitting clothes, and anime DVDs. Who WOULDN'T want to join in on the fun? It sounds incredibly dorky, but I felt pretty cool. Hahah.

2009-04-03T01:00:00.001-07:00

Let me say this now. This is a world full of the creepsters and swingers that you'd hope you'd never meet, yet find yourself dodging eye contact with. Hoping that they would not want to strike up a random conversation with or offer you a cigarette. I politely decline, but he presses my company. It' alright, everyone I know agrees with my judgement of the man's character. Never-the-less I find myself elbow deep in a conversation with a drunkard from New England or Jersey, can't place the accent. Either way, its equally uninteresting. Let me take this last drag and head out towards the door before the barkeep starts yelling at us again. No, I'm not interested in your party, I just want to go home to my cat and freshly washed sheets. I'll resist every urge to clean my apartment and just get myself to bed.
But before that, let me check the internet one last time....

Its a crushing sound in the back of my mind

2009-03-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

I think it finally hit me yesterday that I am twenty four. As I stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror, as I do everyday to prepare my face and hair for the out-side world, I felt the pressure of adult responsibilities crushing behind my skull. Seems that there are so many things that I have to do and really have no inclination as to how. Graduation is nipping me on the heels, the search for a job has me realizing that I have never really worked, and the signing of another six month lease on my apartment has given me a very tangible time-table as to how long I have to get my shit together for the move to Montreal. I suppose its only one thing at a time...but they all seem like very high hurdles to pass through. Often, I find myself distracting my mind from the larger tasks by completing minor chores, hoping that their completion would give me some sensation of accomplishment.

This tide is rising to my windowsill. Remember Mary, you just have to keep swimming and don't let the water over your head. I know I'm not alone in this race against the tide.

New Etsy stuff!

2009-03-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

2009-03-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

This sun-drenched little town missed me. I love it elsewhere, but this place feels more and more like a warm smile from an old friend. Its good to be home, for now. Take off your over-coat and stay in for the weekend, we have some catching up to do.

Photo-shoots ahoy!

2009-03-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

Well I have been hard at work with my photo projects. I have been wanting to organize a 1920s photoshoot at this old train station on the edge of town. So, I rounded up some lovely ladies and styled them in my clothing and photographed them during the "magical hour" that all photographers are oh-so-fond of.

The second shoot was alot more experimental. They are somewhat reminiscent of those 3D photos you see in comic books and other pop-culture material. These photos are more of an experiment with this technique...I have alot of ideas for this next project...excited!

Put them 3D glasses on

2009-02-27T11:45:00.000-08:00

Nights out in this town are way too much fun. There isn't a ton of variety, but we all make it work. Walking into any of the local bars and seeing at least five people who are just as excited to see you is one of those natural highs. Everyone is in good spirits and just wants to put there arm around your shoulder.

E e e e e e esty!

2009-02-25T12:48:00.001-08:00

Put up a couple new items in my store. Just follow the link on the side bar to check them out!

Hope is our hostess

2009-02-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday sparkled with a warm, familiar magic. I spent the day with my lovely artists friends at Hope's little bungalow. We discussed destroying art while enjoying bowls of imaginary (and non-imaginary) ice-cream.

2009-02-21T01:15:00.000-08:00

Between sobriety and sleep, there is an empty space that allows the brain room to wander about. Its far too late to speak on a human to human basis, but not late enough to retire my active mind to that Swedish foam pillow that contours perfectly to my weary head. Right now I just want to devour hand-fulls of dry cereal and post unimportant entries to my otherwise useless blog. I wish I could better convey these silly thoughts into some eloquent poem, but for the most part I am stuck with these words with out any escape plan. Maybe next time I'll write when Im a little less tired, and less apt to waste the readers time.

what goes down

2009-02-18T12:44:00.000-08:00

A sudden burst of creative energy came over me last night. Instead of laying away in bed, I decided to make myself a little more productive. It all started out just playing dress-up...then I remembered that I own a camera and tripod.

The Suicidal bitching that goes down in every kitchen, to determine who will serve and who eat.

Fondu or Fondon't

2009-02-15T18:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, I actually did put this outfit together with the intention of wearing it out to class...but, due to the incredible amount of wind that rips through this part of the state, I had to opt for something less wind-blewn-up-the-skirt prone. The dress is one piece, and was found at this amazing thrift store. While it looks vintage, it is actually from Forever 21. Whoever donated it didn't even wear it because the tags were still on. Score!

This weekend I invited my mother to come and stay with me for a bit. To keep in check with our regular tradition, we were sure to hit up all of our favorite antique stores and vintage boutiques. Thrifting with the moms is always the best. I love how we both flip our lids every time we find a pristine piece of Mid-Century Modern furniture or a fine set of high-ball cocktail glasses. Someday when I move out and start to nest for my future house, I am going to deck it out with as many Mod pieces that I can scavenge. She and I have been keeping our eyes open for a vintage Hi-Fi system. Oh, I remember seeing a Hi-Fi near a dumpster a few weeks ago while having a diner-party with some of my friends. I nearly cried when I saw it! Damn my car being too small and my already crowded apartment. Sigh, better luck next time I suppose.

Mommy bought me a fondu pot. It it totally silly that Im excited about throwing a fondu party?

Wake in the half light

2009-02-11T16:44:00.000-08:00

There is a space between lucidity and dreams. A time where the dream and conscience thought mingle together in the fast-fading half-light of the afternoon. For a glorious moment the world seems to sparkle through the filter of that pink light and no one would guess how you spent your time, sleeping the day away.

Lets just stay inside when its like this.

2009-02-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to get myself into gear today. Don't know why, but Im just feeling a little lethargic and complacent at the moment. School will have to miss me, I think I'll just catch up on some work from the rest of my classes...ugh, I really don't enjoy this feeling...like I could crawl into bed and do nothing all day without feeling guilty. There is no particular reason for this feeling, maybe its just the quality of the light today.

EDIT
I pussied out and went to class. Such a goody-goody

Its a mod, mod world

2009-02-08T19:22:00.000-08:00

Phew! What a day! Just got finished editing some photos that I took today for my "mod" theme photoshoot. It went just perfect. Helps that the models are absolutely gorgeous and the house that I was photographing in was cooler than crap (and we all know how cool crap can be). There are just a few from the entire shoot...there were so many that I like that it made narrowing them down pretty painful. I gave these photos a sort of retro treatment it make the colors seem softer and a little dusty. All of the outfits were provided from my own closet while my friend Susan did the make up.

Now that I have done the whole Mod theme, I need some new ideas!

new stuff for sale!

2009-02-07T13:22:00.000-08:00

Check it out ya'll. Got lots of new skirts and shoes for your pleasure, take a looksie at my Etsy store!

Driver

2009-02-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

Nights like these make me realize how much I love being "the driver". All of my friends know that I am the one with the car. They can depend of me to pick them up and drop them off in time and in style. I love being that person. I never ask for gas money nor assume that the favor will be returned. All I need is the assurance that my friends are home safe, and have thoroughly enjoyed my music selection. In fact, that may just be it...I have to be in control of the music, thus no one else is allowed to drive me around.

P.S.
why are other people's cats so much more adorable than my own? Do you think Mitzy will know that I have been cheating on her? I guess as long as i keep that food bowl full, she won't squeeze me for questioning.

P.P.S
Bachelorette parties are lame. I'll never have one.

Hard noise

2009-02-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

This outfit actually feels a bit dated for me. I did the whole bright tights, skirts, and solid tops for a while (before I joined Wardrobe_remix). I suppose I felt like revisiting old fashion territory. Some may think that its a bit too electric for February weather, but its Texas and it never really stays cold or grey for long.

Funny little thing my professor said to me the other day as I was walking into class; she goes "Mary, its so cute, we can always hear you coming". I laughed and told her that I would make a pretty lousy ninja. What can I say? I love heels...or rather, I love shoes that make that hard noise as you walk. Its one of those little details that gets overlooked. There is something very commanding about the sound of high heels on a hard floor.

As a student of the arts, I am always being instructed to look outwardly for inspiration. As a means to find an artistic direction, students are asked to research other artists' bodies of work. I imagine for some this is a simple task that gives them confidence to grow as an artist. For others it gives them an idea as to where to approach their subject and concept. For some individuals, such as myself, they find inspiration to be overwhelmingly crushing. I know that I tend to be hard on myself when it comes to my work, but when I see something so far beyond my own ability it makes me want to stop everything I am doing. Often I get frustrated when I see my peers making extraordinary work while I struggle with basic concepts. Certainly, it is not that I wish others to fail, but that I only wish I could be the best all of the time. Probably has something to do with always competing with my sister as a child. That competitive spirit of mine never seems to fade away even as I mature and mellow out.

Anyways, it is only a minor personality quirk that gets the best of me from time to time, blah blah blah. Its my blog, I can whine if I want to.

2009-02-03T08:45:00.001-08:00

23 - by Straight up Jankey on Polyvore.com

I didn't even realize you could attach music with your Polyvore creation! Well, in the vein of this enlightenment, I have put together an outfit inspired by the Blonde Redhead album 23. Their albums are always full of the most beautiful, lush sounds that seem to envelope the listener in their dream-world. Soft, dreamy, pale, and undeniably girly.

Be sure to click on the picture and sample the music attached on my Polyvore page to get the full experience :)

Polybored

2009-02-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

Its been a crushingly boring day. Although, I can't complain too loudly considering that last night I spent my time with my friends, dressed in mu-mus while painting acorns (I'll explain later, with photos). So, in the moments when Im not playing dress up in front of the mirror, I'm doing it for pretend on the internets. For some reason my I cannot log into my old Polyvore account, so here is my new one with some fresh ensembles.

Untitled - by Straight up Jankey on Polyvore.com

The boots are defiantly the anchor of this outfit. I have a similar pair in my closet and they are surprisingly versatile. I think its that they are vaguely masculine, yet still manage to not look like clunky Doc Martins. Plus, they can gritty up an outfit that may be a little too sweet. Peacock feathers seem to be a popular trend this season...and why not? They are luxurious with their jewel tones, yet are natural and not too garish. Not to mention they're a cheap piece of flair; instead of putting down a bucket-load of cash for some real jewels, just get yourself some fancy feathers...everyone wins...except the peacock.

bad ass - by Straight up Jankey on Polyvore.com

This one is pretty much me on any Friday night. Time for me to pick up the nasty habit of smoking those stupid little cigarettes while looking overdressed in some crappy Denton bar. Im not sure how I feel about the whole flannel shirt fad coming back into style. Part of me buys into it (hell, I bought one at Goodwill the other day and made an outfit around it) but the other half of me knows that I run the risk of looking like a dirty hipster.

JEWELS!

2009-01-30T09:40:00.001-08:00

Check out these amazing finds I brought back for my store! I really love the one with the huge gems...makes me feel like a 5 year old for some reason.

Well the interview with BCBG went exceptionally well. The lady who interviewed me said she would hire me right on the spot...the only thing is that my hours may be a little weird for her..NOOOO!!! Well, if the job falls through I can be satisfied in knowing that I did not get it because of my hours, not because I was not competent enough. But really, I am tailor made for that position, and I think she knew it too. Heres to hoping for a happy outcome!

4 easy steps to get interviewed for an article in a Montreal paper!

2009-01-29T07:55:00.000-08:00

Step one: Play dress-up and take copious amounts of pictures of ones self

Step two: Endlessly post images of ones self on the internets

Step three: ????

Step four: PROFIT

About a week ago I was contacted by a fellow wardrobe_remixer, who to my surprise, is the chief editor for one of Montreal's biggest alternative weekly, Voir. He asked me if I were interested in being featured with other wardrobe_remixers to be interviewed about our love for vintage and thrifted fashions. Naturally, I was flattered that someone from my favorite city would want to interview me about my favorite thing to do! So there you have it, a girl from Texas talking about shopping on Montreal. I have a strange breed of luck. Check out the article here!

BCBG

2009-01-28T13:08:00.000-08:00

Strangest thing happened yesterday. I am sitting in a bar with Tatiana and Collete, when I get a call from a number I didn't recognize. Now, usually I let those phone calls go, but I was feeling generous after my third can of Schlitz and decided to pick it up. The call was from a representative of the BCBGMAXAZRIA store in the Lewisville mall asking if I would would be interested in an interview or if I knew someone else who would. Im thinking to myself, "What? I never applied there!" so naturally I said yes and made the appointment for 5:30pm on Thursday. What a lucky break! I love BCBG, and am in dire need of a "real" job (apparently selling clothing on Etsy doesn't count). Not entirely sure how they got my number, but I suppose my application got picked up after applying online for a Michael's store in Denton.

Better pick out a good interview outfit and hope I can charm my way into getting a job!

Old Money

2009-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I gathered some of my local lady friends over and organized an impromptu photo session. Luckly I have some rather fashion forward (and backward) friends; Lisa, who owns a small vintage store on the square ( www.myspace.com/timebanditsvintage.com ), provided me with some beautiful retro pieces, while Susan lent me her modeling abilities and wonderful house as a set. Im so thrilled about these photos I could do a little backflip. Styling and posing the ladies was so much fun and invigorating... This is going to be an ongoing effort for me to collaborate with local businesses and friends. There are already plans to do a "Mod" theme photo shoot next. Take a look at my Flickr account to see more!

Stuff stuff stuff!

2009-01-23T16:39:00.001-08:00

New stuff in my Etsy store, check it out!

There is a weight in my lungs

2009-01-23T09:03:00.000-08:00

The past few days I have been feeling progressively worse and worse. If it wasn't enough that my teeth have been aching after my fillings, now when I wake in the morning it feels as if I hadn't slept at all. My lungs feel heavy and my throat feels...odd. Im so tired of chewing on aspirins that I had rather just be in discomfort for a few hours. A trip to the campus clinic is an option, other than I am convinced that most physicians really don't have a clue as to what is ailing us. Maybe that was a little too harsh...

At least getting sick has caused me to have some pretty fantastic dreams. A few nights ago I dreamed that my boyfriend and I were walking along the shoreline of a dark, mysterious ocean. As we looked over the water we saw an enormous manta ray leaping out of the black water. It kept beaching itself, so he and I had to rescue it. Then last night there was an impending doom for mankind. The world was about to face a great extinction, and there was little that we could do about it. Everyone walked about town, trying not to talk about the unavoidable truth.

Anyways, last night I paid eight bucks for a drink in Dallas. That was pretty much the end of the night; plans to go back into Denton and dance to some 80's music were abandoned.

Here is a picture of me wearing cat-ears