I hope this is a sad song

I come home and open the song that I downloaded from my boyfriends MSN account. I hope its a sad one tonight...the song happily obliges. For the very first time I feel as if I come to some great understanding of my best friend's child hood. It took me so long, even before i knew her to realize how sad it is. I know she doesn't need my pity, but that she has my every most ounce of love for her well being and happiness. This all came to me as she showed me the final proof of the photo-book thats she publishing. The gravity of the photo that she has chosen for the cover has finally hit me...Its funny, because I have been aware of this photo for a while, but it has never reached me...I never understood its significants until now. A simple composition of a little bird singing, a clock, an old news clipping, and the faint shadow of a bird cage cast over the scene.

Tonight I came to realize that I have never had a better friend. And it breaks my heart to know that I won't always know her.

One cigarette, six coffees

What I need is just one good evening with a very good friend, about six cups of coffee and my first cigarette in a week. Collete and I met up at the local art-house cafe; she came with every intention to finish some algebra homework, but our boisterous laughter and gossiping shooed away any attempt to study. She tells me how this town falls apart when I leave, that people aren't what they appear to be and they are doing all the things that they shouldn't be doing. I tell her not to worry too much, people are never what you'd expect them to be...leave them alone with their flaws because at some point we have probably disillusioned someone else. We sit outside as the sun drips further down the horizon-line...our clothes covered in cigarette ashes and sunlight. It occurred to me that I love this little place in its entirety. I love the fact that Im a stone's throw away from anyone that I know, that everyone is as broke as I am yet still manages to make the best of their time, the local hang-out joints and petty drama, the wanna be hipsters, the actual hipsters, the maddening wind that doesn't allow you to have nice hair, and the handful of people who miss you when you haven't been around to brighten their day.

My third cup of coffee for the evening...probably not a good idea right before I hit the gym.

Im sorry, thats not for sale.

Lord, how long as it been since I was involved in a yard sale? AGES I tell you, AGES! Early this morning I dragged my lazy ass out of bed and gathered some of my unwanted clothes and accessories to sell in my friend's yard sale. It's got to be the easiest way to make any kind of money (albeit, not much money, but better than nothing). We pretty much just sat on the front steps of Susan's house, and shouted out prices to passerbys. Little Hispanic girls came and cleaned up the collection of jewelry I was offering. I loved how people would slowly roll by in their cars, stick their necks out the window, then speed away if the selection was not up to their yard-sale standards. It was really quite a spectacular sight: four kids sitting out on the lawn, smoking cigarettes, trying to sell a wild assortment of shoes, clown paintings, ill fitting clothes, and anime DVDs. Who WOULDN'T want to join in on the fun? It sounds incredibly dorky, but I felt pretty cool. Hahah.

Let me say this now. This is a world full of the creepsters and swingers that you'd hope you'd never meet, yet find yourself dodging eye contact with. Hoping that they would not want to strike up a random conversation with or offer you a cigarette. I politely decline, but he presses my company. It' alright, everyone I know agrees with my judgement of the man's character. Never-the-less I find myself elbow deep in a conversation with a drunkard from New England or Jersey, can't place the accent. Either way, its equally uninteresting. Let me take this last drag and head out towards the door before the barkeep starts yelling at us again. No, I'm not interested in your party, I just want to go home to my cat and freshly washed sheets. I'll resist every urge to clean my apartment and just get myself to bed.
But before that, let me check the internet one last time....