Straight Up Jankey

Let me say this now. This is a world full of the creepsters and swingers that you'd hope you'd never meet, yet find yourself dodging eye contact with. Hoping that they would not want to strike up a random conversation with or offer you a cigarette. I politely decline, but he presses my company. It' alright, everyone I know agrees with my judgement of the man's character. Never-the-less I find myself elbow deep in a conversation with a drunkard from New England or Jersey, can't place the accent. Either way, its equally uninteresting. Let me take this last drag and head out towards the door before the barkeep starts yelling at us again. No, I'm not interested in your party, I just want to go home to my cat and freshly washed sheets. I'll resist every urge to clean my apartment and just get myself to bed.
But before that, let me check the internet one last time....